Let's get real. What is Love?


The dictionary defines Love as "an intense feeling of deep affection."  A feeling.  Let's just talk about that for just a minute.  Feelings come and go.  Feelings can easily be altered by circumstances and situations.  If love is a feeling then it can be there one minute and gone the next.  Feeling defined is "an emotional state or reaction." These definitions are not what I want love to be based on.  I want something solid, unwavering, unconditional, strong, without flexibility.  Is that even possible?  If you would have asked me 20 years ago I would most definitely without a doubt said YES!  True unconditional love is out there somewhere.  There are couples who are in love and remain in love for many years.  Most of my beliefs came from the love I experienced from my parents.  They loved me dearly and unconditionally.  They seemed to love each other too but that was also the perspective of a child   I didn't understand the true meaning of their relationship or their struggles.  Over the years I have watched countless couples, friends and family struggle in their relationships.  I myself have struggled and been hurt to the very core of my heart in what I thought was a loving relationship.  I have also caused deep pain to those I said I love. But through all the pain does love endure or does love fade away?  Is it possible to really love someone who has hurt you so deeply?  If we go back to the definition at the beginning of the blog wouldn't it prove to dissipate.  I'll be honest and say I don't have the answer.  In my experience love does not last unless you treat those you say you love with careful consideration.  Always being thoughtful of them and their feelings.  Always considering the other person over yourself.  But lets face it, after years of being together we don't do that any more.  We tolerate one another, endure one another and we forgive one another.  So LOVE.  What is LOVE?  I really don't know.  I don't feel it everyday or even every week. The intense feeling I had when I was young is gone and now I just have the everyday reality of life.  My truth is, love hurts because we are in relationships with flawed people.  And I make a choice to continue to love and give and sacrifice my wants and desires everyday for those around me.  Is that some intense feeling?  NO!  It's a decision.  Is it some romantic fireworks going off in the background NO! It is consistency day in and day out.  Who knows maybe that's what love truly is.  I know what the Bible says.  Jesus died for those who beat and killed Him.  The Bible defines love as complete sacrifice.  If Christ is our example, maybe we should love those who beat us, spit on us, call us names and reject us.  Maybe we should love our enemy's.  Maybe love isn't about how someone makes us feel because its not about our feelings.  Maybe we should serve those we love, pour out our most valuable possessions on them, lavish them with the most self sacrificing acts we can do.  I certainly don't have it figured out.  I feel like I'm somewhere in between.  I will say it again.  I don't know what love is, or what it feels like.  I have an idea of what I want but I cannot always trust my wants.  Sometimes they are flawed.   Just like me.  So don't take my word for it.  Just keep loving. 

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